STOP NEVER SAY THIS 10 WORDS TO YOUR PARTNER


10 WORDS YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER SAY TO YOUR PARTNER 


GETTY
2 OF 21
DIVORCE
"Once you throw out the 'D' word, especially in anger, it's like a bell has been rung, and you can't unring it," says relationship expert and advice columnist April Masini. "Throwing out 'divorce' is like throwing down the third rail. You shouldn't touch it. You shouldn't say it unless you mean it. And you definitely shouldn't use it as a tool to get your partner's attention. " 


3 OF 21
ALWAYS OR NEVER
"Absolutes should never be said to your partner," says pre-marital counselor and wedding officiant Hope Mirlis. "The words 'always' and 'never' are rarely true and they're usually said out of anger or frustration. As in 'you always prioritize your friends over me' or 'you never offer to cook dinner.'" Instead, she suggests sticking to the facts, which gives you a way to be honest about what's bothering you without immediately putting the other person on the defensive. "I use a technique with couples that starts with a statement of a fact rather than finger pointing," Mirlis explains. "So, 'I noticed that you've seen your friends four times this week, but we haven't scheduled a date night.' Or 'I cooked dinner every night this week.'"


SHUT UP
"'Shut up' tends to spill out in the middle of a fight or when a partner is upset or annoyed," says relationship expert and CupidsPulse.comfounder Lori Bizzoco. "But saying 'shut up' is highly aggressive. 'Can you please be quiet?' can deliver the same message in a calmer manner that doesn't feel so 

GETTY
5 OF 21
YOU'RE NOT MY MOM
"It's common to say this when someone is feeling as if their partner is being too nurturing, overprotective, or controlling," Bizzoco says. "But the last person your partner wants to be compared to is your parent. Their feelings will likely be hurt, especially if they have good intentions." Before you let those words slip out, "try letting them know what you prefer they not do rather than making them feel like they're coming on too strong." 

GETTY
6 OF 21
YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT
"Any kind of personal insult is an act of emotional violence,"  says Maggie Reyes, life and relationship coach atModernMarried.com. "Belittling is especially destructive, so never, ever turn to phrases like 'you are such an idiot' or 'you have no idea what you are doing.'" Angry words like those cause tension in the short-term — but they can also erode the connection you've worked so hard to build and make it harder to reconnect down the road.

GETTY
7 OF 21
YOU'RE PATHETIC
"You should always avoid labeling your partner when you're dissatisfied with his or her behavior," says Karolina Pasko, a registered divorce and sex therapist. "When we label a person, they get defensive right away." Stick to observations about your S.O.'s behavior, instead. "This way, you're opening up a conversation around how they can change what they're doing."  

GETTY
8 OF 21
YOU HAVE TO DO THIS
"You should never speak to your partner in the authoritarian manner reserved for unruly children or pets," says Margaux Cassuto, founder ofThreeMatches.com. "These words rob a relationship of the equilibrium couples are endlessly trying to achieve. Healthy adult relationships are based on a mutual respect and thrive when each person feels they — and their opinions — are valued."

GETTY
9 OF 21
YOU ARE SUCH A FAILURE
"Hearing these words is like branding failure into your soul," says relationship expert Audrey Hope. "You can't take them back, even if they were uttered in anger and rage. They will linger and become a self-fulfilling prophesy." 


10 OF 10
I WISH I NEVER GOT INVOLVED WITH YOU
"Or, 'I wish I was still with [fill in the blank].' Bringing up a former lover or relationship is about the worst thing you can do," Hope says. Even if it isn't true, "your partner will always believe it."

Post a Comment

0 Comments